Sweet Dreams and Bad Memories

Dreamt about her last night. It was really sweet but then it ended when I woke up and found my right leg hurting like hell. (To Jov, Park and JF: Nope it was not about sex. It’s a really sweet dream)

Am I lonely? Am I trying to use her to substitute Pam?

Or is she really different and I really like her?

I guess time will tell then. But truly speaking, I think she’s cute that’s all.

But she’s really sweet and all. I find that I’m always getting distracted in lecture because of her. The way she brushes her hair with her hand, the way she smiles. Her actions are all really CUTE! But come on, she’s just another cute girl. I mean I don’t have any deep special feelings for her. Just another regular cute girl. That’s all.

But classic scenario, she has a boyfriend. I’m tired now so I’m not gonna pull off any stunt. Lol so much for being a Guru huh? (Tribute to me by Park & Jiafeng) I’m fine with just looking at her and admiring her everyday. Perhaps one day, I’ll only think of her and not Pam. Lol easier said than done.

My heart is still aching. When I’m in school and at work I don’t feel it. But when I’m at home alone, just like now, I feel a deep cut in my heart. It’s bleeding. I’m still asking myself whether I’ll go out with her tomorrow but I guess it’s a redundant question. I know I will.

Mum says its over. Even if she comes back to me, when is the next time she’s gonna leave again? It’s like Maroon 5’s “This Love”.

This Love is taking its toll on me
She said goodbye too many times before.

Its killing me. I ain’t playing this game anymore.

I’m upset again and yeah I guess I’m naturally Emo boy.

I’ve been really missing out on school a lot. Business Finance’s ICA is on Monday and I don’t know anything about it. Marketing’s ICA is due on Friday and nothing is done. All I can think of is tomorrow.

Will it be weird?
Is she gonna hold my hand? Am I gonna hold hers?
Am I going to push her away and say it’s over?
Where are we going to go?
Am I going to kiss her?
Oh geez do I still love or lust after her? Gosh NO WAY! I hope not :(
Or worse, am I even going out with her tomorrow?

I don’t want to be soft-hearted anymore. I don’t want my heart to melt when I see her. Even if she apologizes, I must not forgive her. I hope I will not. I don’t want to be hurt like this anymore. It really hurts like shit. I know part of it is my fault. But Mum’s right. I think she’s really selfish and I don’t feel any respect from her. I need someone who cares about me, not someone who cares about herself.

I wanna go for a run now. But my leg’s hurting from yesterday’s fall at the court. Back’s hurting as well when I try to make a jumpshot so I can’t go and play ball. So I guess I’ll have no choice but to rest at home and think about things.

Jov just asked me out for tomorrow. Maybe I should call Pam later and then decide who to go out with. Damn hungry now wish Mum would quickly finish cooking. Thanks Mum for your perpetually wonderful cooking. You gotta teach me how to cook someday k?! I wanna take this opportunity to thank God for giving me such a good Mum too! :)

Damn bored… Ok… Maybe I should conduct an activity here to cheer myself up. Ok buddies time to use the tagboard!

Questions
1. What kind of girl do you think Dom should date? Describe her.
2. Should he go out with Pam tomorrow?
(10 marks)

Please tag your answers on the tagboard and show me some action! But please follow the rules. (Gosh my blog is starting to look like an ICA paper! Don’t freak out my friends :) This may look like a test but come on! You don’t have to study for it!

Rules:
1. Please don’t give me lame answers. You know what kind of girls I like and don’t like.
2. Please don’t spam here about sex. Yeah I care pretty much about sex but sex is not everything. I need someone to love me not give me sex.
3. No offence but I prefer Chinese girls. But not necessarily. Please don’t be racist!
4. Eh… You can give names but please, don’t embarrass me. Follow the question.
5. I don’t want a fling.
6. I’m not gay, neither am I Bi.
7. Please note there are 2 questions.
8. This rule is for all, but especially for Alvin & Jovian. Please don’t Elo me and put names like Drogba. I like Drogba, but as a footballer :)
9. If your name is mentioned on the tagboard, please do not be alarmed. It doesn’t mean anything, like Duh?
10. I believe I have intelligent friends. Don’t disappoint me :P