Unworthy

What is this void inside of me?

It's growing bigger and it's becoming more difficult to ignore?

Why can't I look at everyone straight in the eye just like how I used to?

Why do I feel like I'm not being responsible for my own life?

Why does this feeling of helplessness overtake me?

Why am I drifting myself further from others?

Why do I lose respect from all? Why do I not respect any?

Why am I running away from the things I love?

Why do I wait, sit and wait all day?

Why do all these negative notions get into my head so easily?

Am I becoming weak?

Perhaps instead of becoming a better person, I became a worse person.

Even my closest one said I can't be trusted. She hates me now.

Perhaps I hate myself too.

I have got serious issues now.

I feel it. The way my mind move, the speed, I'm not like them.

But this edge does not seem to give me any joy, or rather, I'm not using it.

I'm just sitting at the doorway of innovation. My mind changes, but my body withers, my soul is tearing itself apart.

Who can save me? I know.

The person is not her, not him.

But me.

I will Innovate.

I will stand, I will move towards the future.

I will lead.

I will change.

Perhaps then one day, I may truely call myself worthy of living.